Repentant

I love Sundays. I love the feeling I get when I'm at church. I especially love fast Sunday because I feel even closer to the Spirit than the rest of the week.
I woke up this morning and began watching Mormon Messages. I honestly couldn't watch one without crying. That's how bad I needed a Sunday, a break from everyday life and a chance to evaluate my life. I went on to listen to Elder Uchtdorf's talk "Forget Me Not." It's always been a favorite of mine. I especially love this quote:

"You are not forgotten. Wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love."

I know with all of my heart that this is true. I know that sometimes I may feel alone but I am never truly alone. Heavenly Father is always with me and his Spirit is too, as long as I follow the commandments and live my life with accordance to the Gospel principles. 

Well, the Sunday School lesson hit home for me today. I went to church looking for answers and boy, did I receive them. I learned today that I need to be less prideful and need to not look for opportunities to find fault in others. I need to quick to forgive and slow to get offended. I realized today at church that I can't blame how others act for my happiness. In reality, I need to find happiness within myself. Even though times are hard, I'm homesick, and I feel stuck in this in between phase of life, I need to find joy within the little things rather than point out all the negatives. If I can be happy, why would I frown? I have SO much to live for and SO much to be happy about.
I'm not promising that I'll be happy every single second of every single day, but I know that even though times can get rough, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. 

In addition, I was asked to read an article from the 2011 Ensign called "Start Moving." It has an awesome meaning, about making decisions and then receiving inspiration from Heavenly Father and I definitely recommend it. 

And, in light of Fast Sunday, I'd like to bear my testimony that I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church on the earth today. There are many other churches that have good within them, but without this true Gospel, you cannot be truly happy. I know that fasting will help receive answers to prayers and you will feel uplifted throughout the month. I know that scriptures and prayers are the way to communicate with my Heavenly Father who cares much for me. I know that the Atonement is a very personal and sacred process in which my sins can be forgiven so I can live with Heavenly Father and Jesus again.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Out of Place

First things first...this happens to be my blog. This is a place where I show my true feelings. Those feelings may not be happy all the time. As a fair warning to the reader, this isn't a pleasant post but I need to express a few things.

I feel out of place.
Not with myself. I know who I am, I know what I stand for, I know what I like/dislike and I know why I'm here. I feel out of place with those around me. Those I thought I knew pretty well. Those who were suppose to have my back and be there for me. Those who are suppose to truly care. I feel like I'm in the middle of who I thought I was friends with and who I really am. I feel like I don't belong.

On another home, I'm homesick like crazy. I miss my family like crazy. I miss California. I miss the dorms from last year. I miss being taken care of.

I've never been one for change. I like the constant, I like the flow of things. And also, at the same time, I don't like contention. I was never one for animosity. It eats me up inside. And when my life isn't going so great, or I have problems with people, I normally don't come right out and say it. I try to talk to other people or remove myself from the problem. But how do I do that when the problem is constantly with me?

I just want to feel included. I want to feel well-liked. I want to feel...not so out of place.

Carefree

I did. I completed one of my bucket list goals.

Emily a-drivin'!

I rolled down the hill by the library. Yes, you know that one. The one that looks SO tempting every single day? The one that goes straight down? Yepp. Devin and I did it.
It. was. AWESOME!
Ahhh. The days of being crazy and wild are back. Not to mention, that they will be full of study time. As in today. Today (once I'm fully awake) will be a study day.
But last night? Heck no.
It started off as a Disney movie marathon. We watched one (A Bug's Life). What an amazing marathon. But we made some awesome memories instead!

"Awkward"

After the movie, Devin, Swanson, Cortney, Whit and I started walking away and tagged Emily to come with us. We didn't really know where we were going when Emily was like, dude I have a car! So we all ran back to Liberty to get in her car. We grabbed a board game from the Riv and headed to campus. Biggest irony of the night--last year, it was always "Let's get off campus!!" Tonight it was "let's go to campus!!!!" I found it quite ironic.

Whit had to say "Whatever"
every time we said her name!

Emily was a dog

So we headed near the HFAC and got on a grassy area where we played this game called "Awkward." Basically....it's human twister. The person who starts moves their foot on top of the person next to them, who has to move that foot to next person and so on. It starts to get really "awkward" as the space decreases and you have to grab onto people in order to stay on. I did the splits plentiful times. It was a good time haha. No but it was actually really fun. I recommend it. (Next family reunion, say whaaaat!?)

After that, we moved locations....only to play around round of Awkward. We moved again to another area to play Quelf. It's an AWESOME board game (I want it--birthday ideas? ;D) Basically, it's a "you do whatever the card tells you" game. For instance, for one round I had to act like a boy or Emily had to yell at each game board piece that moved like a drill sergeant. It was hilarious!!!! And sooo much fun.  We finally left campus at midnight, when Devin and I decided to roll down the infamous hill. I felt so carefree and awesome last night, it was really relaxing and super fun.

Ahhh, college nights. :)

I'm Sore and I know it!

WOW. Just wow. I've worked out every day I've been here except Sunday and Thursday. Not just my normal 3 mile run either. A new Megan has formed who enjoys weight lifting!? WHAT, weight lifting? That weak thing? Oh yeah. Sure, I'm barely lifting much but at the end of the semester, I'm going to be great! I love it. Anyway, a little bit about my day....

I slept in till 10. No class on Friday? Ohhhh I'm going to love this! Cortney came over after work and we messed around for a bit...before he found a nice little spot on our couch and passed out. Whit and I did laundry for the first time....my little jar of quarters is a little lighter :-/ But it's a way nicer facility than the dorms so oh well.

After that, it was about 1...and I decided to make BANANA MUFFINS, my absolute favorite! I think my roommates love me too. They were just a tad bit undercooked so still gooey and chocolatey...ahh. But my muffins took me so long that I had to keep postponing my workout with Swanson. I finally left at 3:15 and headed to the Fieldhouse gym. Swanson and I just did our own thing but Charlotte Reininger happened to be there!!! She ran with me on the elliptical, which made time fly! Then she taught me her weight lifting routine.
Oh.
My.
Heck. (I'm in Mormonville, this phraseology is allowed!)

I am ALREADY sore. It's been about an hour after working out and everything hurts. I did the bench press for the first time (45 lbs- 50 lbs) and a few other things, like squats and some machines were I had no idea what I was doing, except for the fact that it HURT. In a good way though. I love it. I'm obsessed with working out. I've never felt this way before. I've always seeing working out as a burden or something that I wasn't good at. I don't care if I'm not good at it, I just feel SO good!


On a different note, I'm super homesick and "last-year-sick." I don't know. I know as soon as the semester gets going and maybe like once FHE groups are established things will get better. But today, I'm just kinda blah. I'm heading to hang out with my favorite boys from last year soon and that should make things better. But I feel like a stranger in my own apartment. I can't explain it. I'm doing just fine, I'm happy and such but it just seems I do a lot on my own and I find myself feeling lonely sometime. But I know it's a phase that will past and that I've never truly alone, my Heavenly Father is always there for me and looking out for me. It's just a little tough. But I'm hopeful that things will get better. :)

Keep smiling, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile. <3

Pleased As Punch

I looked up the word "content" and found the synonym "pleased as punch." Not sure what it means but decided to use it!

Well, today was a LONG day. It's midnight thirty (Shelby!!!) and I don't have class tomorrow. Heck yes! But yeah, Tuesdays/Thursdays are my long days with 3 long classes but the classes are still super good. I woke up around 10 and went to class at 12.
I. love. my. sociology. class. The current social problems class I'm taking fascinates me.
Now....time to get a little personal....
Last year, I was a declared History major and I still currently am. Halfway through winter system, my history class was driving me crazy and I just wasn't satisfied. I wasn't sure what direction I wanted to go after college with a history degree as I don't want to teach. I was talking with everyone and searching majors when Cortney (bless his heart) mentioned the possibility of sociology. I honestly had no idea what it was but the idea sounded intriguing. One of my favorite things that I did last year was meeting new people. But not just meeting them. I loved learning their back story; what their family is like and where they grew up. It really creates a clearer picture of the person they are today. Also, the parts of history I really like have to do with civil rights movements. So I decided to take a chance and take two sociology classes. All summer, I was really worried that the classes wouldn't work out, I wouldn't like them and would have to return to square one.
Well, after the first two days in these sociology classes, I got overwhelming feelings of peace. Even though the classes are HUGE and I don't know anyone, every time I'm in the classes, I feel at peace and have received answers that this is the major for me. I *hope* I'm right, as everything feels right, and I just love the subject. In my intro class, my professor talked about different programs one could go into with the major and I don't know, everything just feels right!!!

Tonight was the first football game and WE WON! Wooohooooo! It was great to be reunited with old friends and hall-mates (Emily, Ashley, Christina, Serena, and Courtney). Even better that we won. Basically, I feel pleased as punch, whatever that means ;)

Normal Day + Dance Party = Content

"Oh what a night!" (Name that musical??)

Today was good, normal day of class + a workout with Janel and Shelby (ouch my abs). I ran into Victoria on campus today, it was way fun to see her and I realized again that, whoa, I'm a sophomore. Still hasn't sunk in, I think!

My two hour break was Cortney filled haha. We decided to eat lunch in the bottom floor of the Wilk, seeing as there are tables and it's kinda quiet. However, it's right next to the bowling alley so the two hours was also Michael Jackson filled. I'm not sure which one I liked better ;) Just kidding!

Janel and I ventured to the post office after school and were unsuccessful at retrieving her mail. We continued onto Smiths because we ran out of milk...ah, apartment life!

I made myself a Mexican Feast tonight......a burrito with delicious juicy tomatos from Uncle Kevin's garden and the likes. It was delicious.

Yeah, like I said, today was normal. Well, after doing a bunch of reading, our apartment got a TON of energy and decided to blast some music and have a dance partay! Colleen has a strobe light so that was SUPER TRIPPY! Haha, the best part was before our dance party, I was playing Tonight We Are Young on my guitar and when we started screaming it, the guys in the building across from us closed their door......haha. After tiring ourselves out, we all went back to reading and studying...blaaah. I'm trying to read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair....good times.

,Even though it may be 80 degrees in here, I love our apartment. <3

Interesting

SECOND DAY OF CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!

I love Tuesdays. It's official. I don't have class until 12 and it's the best. I woke up at 9 (I finally slept in!) and went straight to the work out room. Bleck. But it was a good workout, full of more weights and some running. After a shower and a quick breakfast, I walked up the huge hill once more to campus where I had my two sociology classes.
For those of you who don't know, I'm planning on changing my major to sociology. History just wasn't working out, I might minor in it but I was super nervous. After a few minutes of class explanation, I got the overwhelming feeling that I was where I need to be. I enjoyed Soc 112-Current Social Problems. I KNOW I'm going to love this class, the teacher is spunky and full of awesome attitude. I really like the things she said we'd hit on (different social, racial, etc. problems) and it was just a fun class.

My second Soc class wasn't all that exciting--we have an older prof who spent her time lecturing and all I could think about was my salad I packed for "lunch" as I was super hungry.

Then I had a *lovely* two hour break where I sat by myself, contemplated life....and read a lovely article for Soc about a girl who went from homeless to Harvard.

Afterwards, I headed to my 5 o'clock class of the day, US History since 1877. I sat next to a girl named Lizzie who is married. Arhhh!!! Weird! But she was really nice. The class was good, we dove right into the material and I think it'll be an okay history class. I hope so, otherwise I'm gonna have to rethink this whole history minor thing.

Tonight was our ward's first social activity...hot dogs and dodgeball. The Elder's Quorum planned it.  Enough said. But it was fun to meet people and get out and socialize.

It's officially over 80 degrees in our apartment. Not only am I slightly annoyed, it's freaking hot in here. Hence....life is preeeettty dang interesting tonight.