I Should Really Stop Observing People...

...but it's far too fun.

If you've been following my blog since the beginning, you know that I'm changing my major to Sociology and from day one of this school year, I knew that this was the major for me. I spend my time thinking, and not just about what I'm going to eat or wear tomorrow. No, I dig deeper. I'd like to take some credit and say that, based off my surroundings, I observe and form opinions about people, society, and the world around me. And let me just say, currently, I do not like what I see, which normally makes me kinda depressed after I spend a whole day thinking, aka, today.

(A word of caution: This isn't really a happy post. These are my thoughts based off the people I see around me.)

The major thing I've observed is how people interact. For me, I was raised to ask people how they are and, here's the catch, I really care. There has never been a person that I have inquired how they are and not cared. Sure, I might not have remembered to this day how they felt on the 10 of August but I'm not one to go through the motions. So I just don't understand how others can't care about something like that. If I walk through the door, gone all day, why don't I get asked how my day was but someone else does? Why does someone come home and their name gets shouted like the Hallelujah Chorus but I walk in and no one notices? Maybe I'm no one special or maybe everyone just automatically thinks I'm alright when I walk through the door with a smile on my face. Maybe I was the only one who grew up with a mother who was anxiously waiting to hear about my day the second I came home. Whatever the reason is, I don't understand how society has lost the ability to care about the little things. Since when did we get so busy to not care about the people around us, even if they aren't our BFF or our significant other??? 

Another thing I have observed is people take things for granted all the time. I noticed this a bit last year, when we had one driver in my group of friends. It was natural just to assume she would drive all the time and I don't remember how often I thanked her. I realize that I need to take the time to thank people for the little things, even if it's their job or their place to do so. For instance, we have a chore chart in our apartment. Even though I might not agree with it, it works well but how often do I take the time to thank my roommate for cleaning the bathroom, even though it was her week to do so and expected of her? Not very often, that's definitely something I could work on. But what astounds me is how little people care when they go out of their way to do something nice for them that they didn't have to do. Or what's worse--when person A decides to do an act of service for person B and then person B complains the whole time/tells person A they are doing it wrong. I see this ALL THE TIME. I don't get it. If a boy wants to be nice and make food for a girl, why does that girl sit around and complain or say stuff like "that's not how I would do it." Really? Have some COMMON SENSE. That boy doesn't have to invite you over and make you some food. He didn't have to be nice to you. But seeing as he decided to, you better sit there with your mouth shut and, if you must speak, say something like "What can I do to help?" rather than "you're doing it wrong."
Society, please, I beg of you. USE YOUR BRAINS. Don't you still have one? I'm starting to think you don't.

My last rant of the evening would go to those who are LDS. Living in Provo, majority of the people I interact with here are LDS. If our main mission of the Church is to share the gospel with the world, we are doing a POOR JOB within our apartments, classes, and interactions with each other. In order to share something as precious as the gospel with others, we need to first change ourselves. If you can't follow the examples of Christ and the apostles, how can you expect others to want to hear of the gospel? If we can't follow the simple commandment of "love thy neighbor as thyself" or "love thy fellow church member even if they're a bit different or not perfect," how can we be true followers of Christ? How can we call ourselves Christian if we can't even love our fellow ward members? How can we expect to be true followers of Christ when we get frustrated and can't do a simple act of service for someone else? How can we go to church for 3 hours and come home and forget about how to be a follower of Christ? Those questions are the ones that truly haunt me at night.


To sum up, the real reason behind these random thoughts of mine? Use your brain. We're smart. We're all living our life and trying to figure things out for ourselves. But if one stays with his narrow mind and doesn't open up to new opportunities, how will one grow? How can one learn if he stays with his own opinions and don't consider someone's? Kindness and consideration go a long way, even if you don't agree with what's being said. You can be polite and disagree. Just go back to preschool and think about how you'd want to be treated. I guarantee you don't want to be kicked the curb. I guarantee you want to  be loved, respected and considered.

Eye Contact

I've been thinking about this for awhile now. I'm not really sure when it started.
I'm taking a Student Development class right now, not required for my major. Basically, I took it for an easy two credits and I decided to take it without much thought. Oh man, I am SO glad I took it. It's been the best class. There's about 30 of us, probably not even that much, and so it's a small class which allows you to get to know mostly everyone rather than my huge 200 count lecture class, which I hate, by the way.
Anyway, the Student Development class is called "Life Plan and Decision Making." Perfect for me, as I'm switching up my major this year and not to mention, I'm a horrible decision maker. My professor is a psychology major, which is sorta similar to sociology so I find that the class goes into why people think the way they do and different ways people mess up in talking to one another. Basically, the class is fascinating to me, perfect for my new major, and I look forward to it every Monday and Wednesday.
Well, I sit in the front of this class, so naturally the professor is always right near me. In my small classes in high school, I never wanted to sit in front- I didn't need to because I have good eyesight so I put myself near the back. Being in college, I realize that when you sit in the front in huge lecture classes, not only do you hear better but the mindset is different. In my first history class of my freshman year, I sat near the back and didn't know anyone. I'd fall asleep almost everyday because my professor would turn off the lights and it just wasn't working out. But the kids in front used their laptops, so I started bringing my laptop and sat in the front. That was a huge change! But I digress...
So, front of my student development class, and there's about 30 of us, right? So naturally, my professor and I make eye contact a lot. In years past, that was SCARY to me. Eye contact with a teacher means he's probably going to call on you or he can tell if you're paying attention.
Not anymore.
My mindset about eye contact has totally changed. Every time this certain professor and I make eye contact, it seems like I can understand her better. Is that weird? I don't think so.
See, I think most people in this world are afraid of eye contact. Watch the next time someone talks to you. Do they look you in the eye? When they took, do you look them in the eye?

I believe that having eye contact is not just a courtesy, it's a necessity. I mean, the eyes are the gateway to the human soul, right? Just experiment next time you have a conversation with someone. Eye contact doesn't just mean that someone's confident and able to look you in the eye, it means that someone is really listening to you and honestly cares to the words coming out of your mouth.

The Perfect Woman

Well...it's been a week or so. I've had about the busiest week of my life since school last year, ha. But I realized I'm changing the purpose of this blog. It used to be about my everyday life/feelings and yeah, they'll be some days where something super special awesome will happen and I'll blog about it. But the purpose of this blog is changing to just my feelings. I'm a sociology major; I spend A LOT of my time analyzing and just plain thinking-and most of the time, it drives me crazy. I think that's part of the reason why I've been feeling kinda miserable this week-I think too much and most of the time, I keep these thoughts to myself.
So from now and hence forth, I will be using this blog as a way to control my thoughts. Somedays, I'll rant. Somedays, it might be just a simple thought that got me through my day. And somedays, it'll be more of an analysis of those around me, that I watch and interact with 24/7.

Soooo....my comeback blog post....
I titled this "The Perfect Woman." I want you to think about this for a second. When I say "the perfect woman," who comes to mind? My guess would be a woman who is skinny, wearing lots of beautiful makeup, fashionable clothes, smiling and definitely hot. Right? Don't tell me you were thinking something different, because if you were, you're an outlier (blog post coming soon...). Most of us tend to think of a hot, sexy, skinny woman who most would claim is "beautiful."

So today, in my sociology class, we talked about the effects of the media. Ohhhh, the all powerful MEDIA. Scary. Really, it is. The first video clip we watched was enough to make me a little bit frustrated with the media....

Really? Ha ha ha, media. Yes, while it is true that women drivers are not the best (I'll admit, I feel more comfortable driving with a man than a woman....and to this day, I'll sit in the front seat if it's a man driving rather than a woman), really? I found this pretty degrading. Being a woman, I grew up and still get the women jokes, the "make me a sandwich" boyfriends, and even the Mormon outlook that I should be an excellent chocolate chip cookie maker (I am, by the way).

But why does the media continually push society into thinking this way?

In addition, in my sociology 111 class, we watched this AWESOME documentary. I don't exactly recommend it, because my professor had to edit it out for us (and told us that if we felt uncomfortable watching PG-13 movies we didn't have to come to class) but it was inspiring. I cried (yeah, I'm a crier so it was probably expected) but it was honestly really inspiring. It's called "Miss Representation." It was entered into the Sundance Festival and it's all about women and how media's effects are harmful and degrading.

One aspect of the media that it focused on is women in movies. Movie directors were interviewed and explained that when making a movie, they realize that they will get the most audience from these strong male influenced movies (Iron Man was featured quite a few times, think action packed with hot girls hanging onto a millionaire's arm) because all men will want to go see it...and bring their girlfriends. On the other hand, a strongly influenced female movie (such as Eat, Pray, Love) will bring a whole different audience, mostly women. So movie directors will continually put out movies like Iron Man, where Tony Stark can do whatever the heck he wants, with whoever the heck he wants, because he's a millionaire.

Is "real life" like this?
NO.
So why, WHY do we as society buy into this!?

The same goes for the flip side--chick flicks. My wonderful "inspired" friend Cortney posted this article to my Facebook wall yesterday (which was actually kinda inspired, as it led to my thought process for sociology today) that talked all about chick flicks and how life IS NOT like this. (If you care to read the article, here's the link, sorry it's not entirely language appropriate.) Let's take the classic example of The Notebook, which I only saw last year. My initial reaction was....what? This main girl cheats on her fiance to go back and find the love of her life? Really? And that's exactly what the article talks about!

So, let's take chick flicks and see what "Miss Representation" says about them. In the documentary, it talked about how in click flicks, even though the protagonist is a woman,  the woman still lives in a man's world and tries to find her knight in shining armor to take her away and provide for her, because clearly women can't provide for themselves. But (and here's my main point, it took me awhile to get to it...) how does this woman protagonist find said knight in shining armor?

By being "The Perfect Women" and fitting the media's ideal image of a woman. If you notice, majority of click flicks/movies/tv shows, the beautiful skinny girl wins the date.
SO...what is this telling women of my day?
I have to be perfect size two model with beautiful straight blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes to thrive in this world.
If you haven't seen this video, you must have been living under a rock for a few years. Every time I watch this, I get chills...

See? This is what I STRONGLY WISH women/girls/my friends would understand. There is no humanly possible way to be as perfect as the way media portrays women. There's no way. Stop trying. You won't succeeded. I'm sorry, but unless you have a way to mess with brains and photoshop yourself, you can't reach media's level of beauty. So why do we as women focus so much on the media and trying to fit into a size 2 pair of jeans? I don't have an answer. I just urge our society to become "media literate." As it said in "Miss Representation," “we need media literacy as much as we need to learn how to read.” And I'm not guiltless. I need to do better in realizing that a perfect body isn't necessary for success, recognition, or just being overall well liked. Why would I want a guy out there who is as shallow as to judge me because I don't have the perfect size two body? I don't. 

As an ending note, I leave with you the words of Elder Holland in a talk entitled "For Young Women." (Again, we watched it in my class and it made me cry. Here's the link if you want to watch the full talk, which again, I urge you to do).

"I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]”

Tender Mercies

I'm feeling really grateful right now at 6:30 PM on a Friday in September.

• I'm grateful for an amazing roommate who woke up to make me breakfast and pushed me to work out today.
• I'm grateful for my working body, who doesn't quit on me and is healthy and able to take what I give it.
• I'm grateful for the boys at Riv (Cortney, Swanson, Jordon, Greg and Kuan-Yew), who always let me come over and chill...or "crash" at their place (crash meaning come over unannounced).
• I'm grateful that Liberty Square's maintenance came and unclogged our showers, so now they drain (YAY)!

• I'm grateful that I don't have school on Fridays, so I can get laundry done, workout and just take a break from my crazy school life.

• I'm grateful that my family, especially my mom and I, are so close and call me often. I'm really really glad that I repaired my relationship with them over the summer.

• I'm grateful that I have a bed, even though it's extremely high and I have to use a ladder to get into it.
• I'm grateful that my roommates have cars and will willingly take me to the grocery store so I have food to eat.
• I'm grateful to go to a church school, surrounded by awesome people who have the same standards as I do.
• I'm grateful to be living among friends who love me and appreciate me.
• I'm grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and that I'm apart of something so wonderful and beautiful.

I'm grateful to be alive. :)

A Call For Self Worth

This one is for the girls. I mean, boys, please read on but this is another "review" of my gender.

Self worth. A synonym for self esteem. A term used to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his/her worth. Self worth is a tricky thing to talk about because I believe it greatly differs from one person to the next. To share my thoughts, I'm going to limit this to again the society I find myself in (BYU, 18-20 year old girls) but I feel like my feelings goes across the board as well.

What I find very interesting is as human beings, we love praise. We love it. When we achieve something spectacular, we look for praise. When we receive an "A", we want everyone to know. When we lose weight or go to the gym, we update our Facebook status to show our success. When we cook something, we share that food with those around and expect praise.

I noticed this in particular at my FHE. We were asked to say our names, where we were from, and one interesting thing about ourselves. Trying to appear humble, I said I'm decent at guitar. It's true. I'm not the best but I'm just alright. My roommates rush to praise me, saying I'm awesome, and I have a great voice (thanks ladies :). But if I feel that I do have a beautiful voice and I'm really good at guitar, why didn't I just say so? Where did we get this idea that bragging is so wrong?

Now, let's get to my point. In my humble opinion, most girls around here get their self worth from a couple of things; baking, schooling, homemaking, etc.

But there's one major value of self worth I didn't mention and it needs to be addressed.

Boys.

Now, my faithful readers, you're going to think that I just sit around and think about boys and girls and relationships all the time. True. But the reason behind my thinking is that it's a huge concern for everyone around me (and yes, I include myself in that) here at BYU. I come in contact with females and males every day and I spend my free time analyzing those I come in contact with (No one is safe...ha ha ha, just kidding).  Especially on Tuesdays/Thursdays when my classes are very theory based, socially based, and I find myself thinking a lot about society.

Back to the topic at hand...

I simply do not understand this mindset we have where we need to have a boy to tell us to feel good. Where, when, and how was it started, because I wanna give the creator a piece of my mind. Where in society did we get this idea that we have to have a man to feel good about ourselves? To feel beauty? To feel important? WHY?
The girls I'm seeing today has this idea that if they are single, they are of no worth.
Wait....so the way this mindset goes....seeing as I'm currently single, I'm no good to society and should go live in a mountain colony on top of Timp because I'm a shame to society.
WRONG.
Girls, I'm single and I've never had more fun in my life. SURE, relationships are awesome, I mean, I love having a boy tell me I'm beautiful, I'm fun to be around, and he really likes me. Same goes for boys. And if you out there don't like having someone else tell you how awesome you are and how awesome you look, there's a problem.
But why, whyyyyy, do we take another's view of us and base it off our own self worth? Why do girls feel like if they are still single, they have no worth to the world of men?

Ladies, stand up for yourself! Don't be vain but understand that you are awesome even if you are still single! You are beautiful even if you don't have a boy texting you saying you look gorgeous today. Understand that self worth comes from yourself. You have to be happy yourself before you can make someone else happy.

If you can't find joy, happiness, self worth from yourself, maybe you can from this quote.
"Did you know that [God] knows you personally--by name? You may not have heard the Lord call you by name, but He knows each one of you and He knows your name. Elder Neal A. Maxwell said. 'I testify to you that God has known you individually for a long, long time. He has loved you for a long, long time. He not only knows the names of all the stars; He knows your names and all your heartaches and your joys!" - Elaine S. Dalton.
There is a God in heaven looking down on each and everyone of us who loves us more than we can comprehend. He loves us, cares for us and hurts with us. He is much more important than those around you and He never stops caring.

All I'm saying is self worth can come deep from within. We shouldn't base our happiness on those around us or from how much praise we get. I shouldn't base my self worth on how many of you read and visit my blog. Instead, I need to realize that I am a capable human being who is loved by a Heavenly King. 

Refocusing On What Matters Most

I don't have church until 1 PM. Talk about late! So every Sunday morning, I try to listen to church music, piano music (Jon Schmidt is my favorite, look him up) or recent talks/Mormon Messages in order to start my day off right.
I love Mormon Messages! They are definitely not just for members of our faith, they are beneficially to everyone! I encourage you to look up "Mormon Messages" on youtube during any hard times. They really help me out.
Well, this morning I was listening to Jon Schmidt but I decided I needed a little more spiritual boost for my morning. I've had a rough couple of days and I feel that my spirit needs some encouragement. I was listening to "Have I Done any Good in the World Today?" by Alex Boye and Carmen Rasmusen Herbet (watch that here). I switched over to my very favorite Mormon Message called Moments That Matter Most (video shown below).

Hopefully, you took 3 minutes and 11 seconds to watch it because it's my very favorite video of all time. It makes me cry every time. The little girl on the swing reminds me of my little sister Lauryn and the older grandparent couple/young couple getting married gives me hope for my future. The girl scoring the soccer goal reminds me of my support team of friends and family who are rooting for me. The mom giving her son a welcoming hug reminds me that I have family back home who love me and miss me dearly. The women standing at the grave reminds me that families can be together forever. The man in the car looking at the sunrise reminds me that the Lord created this beautiful earth for us to enjoy. 

But what does this video really have to do with me today? I love this quote from it: "We would do well to slow down a little, focus on the significant, life up our eyes and truly see the things  that matter most... Diligently doing the things that matter most will lead us to the Savior of the world (Dieter F. Uchtdorf)."

I think the most of the time, we live our busy day to day lives without giving much thought to what's out there and what our purpose is. We try to remember that we are children of our Heavenly Father and that our Savior has done so much for us but often times, we only remember that on Sunday or when we hear talks or attend church. We need to take the time to slow down and remember that "simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" (Leonardo da Vinci).  How many times do we get caught up in the to-do lists, simple chores, and other extra activities and how often do we remember our friends and family, having a heart full of love and service and praying to our Heavenly Father?                                          I bear testimony that when we take the time to slow down and realize what's really important, our lives will turn out the way we want them to. Instead of taking the time to Facebook or text or even watch a movie, how different would our day be if we went out of our way to do the dishes or make a roommate's bed? Not only would we make others around us happy but we will find happiness within ourselves. By refocusing our lives and putting Jesus Christ at the center, I know that I will be a happier, more pleasant person and will not be offended by the little things people may do. I know that things will work out for the better and my life will be more positive.

I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church on the earth today. I know that I am a child of a Heavenly Father who loves me and knows me. He knows my faults, he knows my weakness, my strengths and my joys. He is there for me when no one else is. He loves me more than I can comprehend. I know that the Savior died for me and suffered for my sins so I can live with God again. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the true prophet on the Earth today and he speaks words of truth and comfort. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. 

A Little Bit of Bragging...

Disclaimer: This post is not about marriage. This is gonna be me taking a second to brag.

Well, sometime over summer, I became obsessed. Totally obsessed with working out. I don't really remember when it happened but all the sudden, my life was full of nannying and exercising. I would go to the YMCA like every day and run about 3 miles, depending on the day. Part of it was influencing from my extra healthy roommate (and her posts on Tumblr) and other was talking to Cortney, we said we were going to motivate each other. I didn't really eat healthy but I was working off. 

Well, in August, I decided I was going to work out every single day except for Sundays.....my plan was good until the week I left to come up for school.
However, the day that my family left, I told
myself, I gotta do this. Running is a release for me, it really makes me happy and feel better about myself. I might not be the best at it but it's just all about me when I run.

Anyway, I've been pretty consistent at working out at least everyday. I've missed two days, hiked for one and walked around Provo for the other. I also have given my hand at lifting weights. I'm by no means amazing (I can bench press 50 lbs....still got a ways to go...) but I LOVE it. I get such a high from it, I'm obsessing. In fact, I haven't lifted today and even though I'm exhausted, I feel incomplete by not going!!!!!! Ah!


So...onto the bragging....since coming up to Utah, I have officially lost 10 lbs! I might not look it but I feel accomplished!!!! I love the new me. The only "junk food" I own right now is nutulla, one 1/2 pint of ice cream, and tortilla chips. No more Nilla Wafers w/ frosting like last year! I'm not perfect by any means, but I love eating healthy. Fruit is the BEST, eat it!! I love it. I love being healthy. Ahhh! :)

We'll see what happens in the near future but for now, I'm doing pretty well :) I STRONGLY encourage any of you who are unhappy with their life right now to just start working out. It doesn't have to be hard. Even like a 10 minute run makes a difference. Even 10 crunches! I promise you'll feel better about yourself. <3