An Unexpected Turn of Events

Day After the Accident

You know, it's crazy how short life is. I don't want to sound morbid or anything but it's true. In a flash, everything you thought you knew can change.

That's not exactly what happened to me but it's pretty close. For those of you who don't know, I was involved in a car crash on Sunday while traveling back home from a weekend in Colorado. The car slipped on some ice, rolled twice and miraculously we landed right side up on the side of the road (or the middle of the divided highway).

In that moment, a lot rushed through my mind...or at least I think so. I know I went into shock and all I could hear was my friend going, "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

My other friend immediately went into action mode, assisting me and making sure I was alright. I was just trying to catch my breath and gather what had just happened. It had just happened so quickly. One second I was sitting there, texting one of my roommates and the next, we were off the side of the road.
The thoughts that went through my mind were:

"Am I okay?"
"What hurts?"
"And why did this happen?"

The first question I could answer after I calmed down-we were all alive and spared by nothing short of a miracle. I started to breathe a little deeper and my friend moved closer to me, to pull glass out of my hair and make sure I wasn't bleeding too badly. The cars that had stopped behind us started throwing coats and blankets on us, as we were stuck in the backseat and the wind was blowing super hard and it was 20 degrees in the middle of Wyoming.

Exploring Castlewood Canyon

The second question I started to answer as I calmed myself down. My back hurt. Immediately, thoughts went through my mind of "Will I be able to walk?" "How will I move?" "How in the WORLD will I get up those flights of stairs at BYU campus?" and "What will this mean for my future?"

As the police officer showed up, he informed me that an ambulance had been called. I freaked out. I had never been in an ambulance, or the ER, or been injured bad enough to go to either. That's when I knew I needed to contact my parents, who were in the middle of church. I didn't realize this and I was worried when no one answered. My friend called my little sister, who happened to be texting during YWs. Through her, we were able to contact my parents, who were prepared to come up to WY if I was in poor condition.

It seemed to take forever for the ambulance to arrive...I was just so cold. A little bit of comic relief-the two friends who were in the front seats started walking around, trying to find anything outside the car. My iTouch was found, which is only a month old, and although the screen protector was scratched, the thing still worked! My friend announced to me my luck and at the time, I didn't care at all!!! Haha, but alas, the only apple product to survive a car crash is mine. :)

Icy Waterfall

The paramedics arrived and went to work. I was put in a neck brace and they brought the board into the backseat of the car. I was strapped in and brought to the back of ambulance. I just remember being so cold, as I didn't have a jacket nor shoes on. They put me in the ambulance and re-strapped me in. They took my blood pressure many times, checked to see where I was hurting and put me on oxygen. I tried to make the nurses laugh and continually apologized for not having shoes, being at BYU (they were WY fans) and a few other things.

The ride took forever. My head hurt. I just wanted to be able to move. But I understood that I could seriously injure myself more if I did, so I stayed put (not like I could move anywhere...).

We finally arrived. I could see my friend. I was tired of staring at the ceiling but I could see him out of the corner of my eye, which brought me comfort. I was not alone. I was taken to my "room" and the doctor came in and started checking me out. I began to be more calm, knowing I was in the hands of professionals.

I was told I would need x-rays. Then came more comic relief, as the doctor asked me if I was pregnant.

Tunnel Picture!

"Definitely not."
"Well, we might have to make you take a pregnancy test, because if you are, you have a right to know."
"Doctor, I'm Mormon. I'm definitely not pregnant."
He walked out and my friend walked back in. I had a smile on my face. He asked why I was smiling and I said "I have to take a pregnancy test because 'I have the right to know.'"

Then I had to give blood. Yuck. My friend was smiling and I was dying as they took it. Afterwards, I rolled over and looked at him, announcing that I had finally given blood in his presence, so he can stop asking me to donate with him. I don't do well with needles. :P

After a lot of waiting, I was taken to get x-rays (I didn't have to take a pregnancy test, if you're curious).
After more waiting and visiting with my other friends, the doctor finally came in and said nothing was broken. I was relieved beyond belief and considered myself very lucky.

We stayed in a hotel room overnight and I don't think any of us got a lot of sleep. We continued our trip back to Provo and arrived safely, in one piece.

Over the past few days, I have been humbled and touched by the outpour of people willing to help me, from those in my ward, from those at home, from those I barely know and from those who are my close friends. I have felt oh so discouraged when I can't even move without help, let alone dress myself or wash my hair. I feel so blessed to have a nurse in training, Miss Shelby Patterson, as my roommate and Katie, who is willing to wait on me hand and foot even when she feels sick. I'm grateful that Cortney was able to take me to my classes today, carrying my backpack and being my "mule" as he said to one friend we passed by. I'm grateful for the members of my ward, who have offered their cars to drive me to and from campus. I'm grateful for my visiting teachers, who visited me, brought me food, and have offered their services in whatever way they can.

That night of the accident, I received a blessing that told me that I would get through this and return to my full strength.  But after attending three classes today, I feel exhausted and frustrated. I want to be able to walk on my own, to make myself dinner, to carry a backpack or just poor the milk in my cereal. I want not to be labeled by this accident and have these worried looks.

So now to question three. Why did this happen?

I still don't know. I don't believe I will fully know. Maybe only time can tell. But I know that I will learn something from this; whether it's to trust in my Heavenly Father or to let those around me help me even when I wish I could be fully independent. Maybe it's to learn that bad things happen to good people.


Today, while feeling very discouraged and down on myself, I opened up a notebook and found three things my professor told us at the beginning of the semester. He said if you can only remember three things from my class, remember this:

1. Life is hard! But, you can do hard things.
2. When things don't go as planned, don't get frustrated. Make the best of it!
3. T.T.T. = Things Take Time

Tonight, I'm grateful for inspired professors, who care deeply about their students. I know that what has happened to me is hard but I can make it through and that I will heal completely, both mentally and physically. Clearly this accident was never part of my plan but I am blessed with people around me. I know people back home are praying for me and I know people around me in Provo are willing to help me through this tough time. I am so grateful for them, I don't think I can ever let you know. I know that healing will take time. And most of all, I know life is hard. But, I know I can do hard things.


(I included pictures from my trip to Colorado, because, besides being in an accident, it was a great trip:)

Trials of Faith

My heart is full this Sabbath day.  I love Sundays. I must admit that I do not like having late church, but Sundays always seem to make me smile more.  And on this Sunday, I want to reflect on what I’ve been taught this week in school.

This week in my New Testament class we talked a lot about trials of our faith.  My professor emphasized that we need to change ourselves to conform to what God wants.  He used the example of marriage.  A lot of time in marriage, one partner will pick out things they don’t think about their spouse and will say that they need to change.  However, this normally makes the marriage end in divorce.  Instead, we need to think what do I need to do to change?  This is a good lesson not only for marriage but also for life.  All too often we point out the flaws of those around us, something like I can’t stand when she talks like that or he is so rude and doesn’t know how to act around people.  Instead of focusing on things we don’t like, we should focus on ourselves, because each of us are flawed human beings and no one is perfect.

In addition, my professor also emphasized trials of faith.  In Acts chapter 7, Stephen recounts Old Testament examples of trials of faith, including Abraham, Joseph in Egypt and Moses.  In each story, each character passes his own trial of faith.  But what really got me thinking is that each of us doesn’t have huge trials of faith.  For instance, I won’t have to physically sacrifice my son on an alter nor will I be called to lead my people through the Red Sea.  But how is “my story” different from “history?”  The only difference is the nature of the trials.  Instead of having these huge trials, I merely have human trials, something has simple as not passing a test or not feeling good enough or being sick.  How did these prophets stay faithful? They changed themselves for good so the Lord could work through them.  How did these prophets continue on when the going got rough? They prayed and had faith that this too shall pass.  Too often we think that we can get through things by ourselves.  I think we are prideful in the fact that we believe we don’t need others to help and instead we can rise up on our own or just prepare for the next test of our faith on our own.  Why not rely on our Father in Heaven? He has given us so much and He stands there, waiting for us to rely on Him.  I also believe that we know how to change.  We already know what we’re doing wrong or not doing enough of.  A quote from Boyd K. Packer says “people don’t change because of things they see or hear.  They change because of things they feel.”  Through the Holy Spirit, we can know of how to change and what we need to do to be better.  

I challenge those who actually read my blog to move forward with faith! I am far from perfect but I know that each week I learn new ways to help others and change myself to the person I want to be. I know life is hard but if we pray to God and rely on Him, we will receive the strength to carry on! I love this gospel and I love being at BYU with religion classes. I'm so grateful for all the people in my life who care about me and want to see me succeed. I know I'm a child of God and that I will return to live with Him one day, as long as I follow and keep the commandants. Keep the faith!

An Amazing First Day Back

After a refreshing and much needed few weeks at home, I find myself back in my apartment in cold, snowy, and icy Utah. I had an amazing first day of school. I am currently enrolled in University Chorale and I think that was probably the best decision of my life.  I've missed singing so much, since I've been singing in choirs since 7th grade.  Within the first few minutes, I was getting chills and just so excited to be there! And then, we started singing "In Humility, Our Savior." What other school could you sing hymns to work on vocal technique!?

But more importantly, I had a great experience with the first day of my religion class. I'm currently taking second half of the New Testament with Prof. Griffin. I took the first half of Book of Mormon from him and the impressions I received from his class is the reason I changed my life around, as I was not the person I wanted to be that first BYU semester.

Anyway, today in class, towards the last few minutes, he directed us to Acts, chapter one. In chapter one, Christ is about to end his 40 day ministry after being resurrected, and his apostles ask him one last question.  The question is about temporal matters, mainly when will the kingdom be restored to Israel? Christ answers, in verse 7, "It is not for you to know the times or seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power." My professor then said to "liken all scriptures unto ourselves," because all scriptures can be to our learning, even a 19 year old girl at BYU.  I thought about this for a second and realized the spiritual importance of this scripture to me at this time.

At this time, I am a sophomore in college.  I am just getting into my major of choice, sociology and I've been worrying constantly that maybe this isn't the major for me.  I've had problems last semester that haunted me and I've been worried that they will reoccur this semester as well.  My future seems very uncertain, which worries me even more and at times, I wish I could see what my life has in store for me.  But, when taking this scripture and applying it to my 19 year old life, I realized that my Father in Heaven knows me personally, knows my weakness and flaws, and knows what my life will bring me.  At this time in my life, I need to trust and act in faith that I am leading my life in the way my Heavenly Father would want.  I need to trust my Heavenly Father and prepare for the trials that I know are up ahead this semester. And I need to have faith that, even though I don't know why, I'm suppose to stay for spring semester.

After reflecting on this scripture, I got a reaffirming feeling that this is where I'm suppose to be right now, at BYU.  I am leading my life in a way that is pleasing to my Father in Heaven and even though I'm impatient to see what the future has in store for me, I can act on faith and trust that everything will work out in the way it's suppose to, if I keep the commandments and listen to promptings I receive.

I am so excited for this semester and what it has in store for me. Life is exciting and "I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friends!"