In Light of Recent Events...

It's no question that the world is getting worse by the day. When looking at Facebook posts alone, people are unhappy with the government and terrible events keep happening that affect our country at large. Coincidently, my roommates and I were just talking last night about how wicked the world is getting and how we are worried to start families of our own and bring children into this world.
In light of recent events, I want to say that not all hope is lost!
Again, coincidently, I had my last New Testament class, where we finished the second half of the New Testament. So naturally, we ended in Revelations. It was probably one of the first time I read through the whole New Testament and got to Revelations. What a crazy section, talking about the future and deep doctrine. However one of the smallest end verses significantly affected me today...

Revelations 21:4&7 "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." "[She] that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be [her] God and [she] shall be my [daughter.]" (Yes I changed that to fit me personally!)

These verses actually brought tears to my eyes. I didn't know about what happened in Boston until after class, so that's not why. But the fact that God will personally wipe away the tears from our eyes? That is powerfully. I've been through some hard times and I'm a girl...so I cry a lot. I can't imagine a supreme being wiping away the tears from my eyes.  Not to mention that the fact that there will be nothing bad in the world anymore! I can't wait for that day!

The second verse is amazing. All I need to do in this life is keep the commandments and believe in God and I will be His daughter. I already am but if I want to ensure that in the next life, I just need to overcome this mortal life. It's hard, not going to lie, with all the temptation and awful things in the world. But everything will turn out alright if we are faithful and keep believing.

Living in the World

In 1 John 2 verse 15, John writes, "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him."

This past weekend was a blessing in my life. For those of you not of my faith, it was the Latter-day Saint General Conference.  There are five sessions, each an hour long, where Latter-day prophets and apostles council us basically on how to be better people.  Some talks are more specific but most council us on how to live our faith and follow the commandments.

I was lucky enough to go to the conference center for the Saturday afternoon session and it was one of the best experiences in my life. I not only got to go, but I was in the very front! Off to the side a bit but still great!

See, but here's the thing. Every year, I listen to conference and it's always a great weekend.....and then I forget all about it. But what good is that? So I changed my approach this year.

In February, Elder Bednar came to our stake conference. And like every church meeting, everyone was taking copious notes. Elder Bednar asked us to stop and instead just write down impressions or feelings we received rather than every word he spoke. I took his advice and applied it to conference this year..

I wrote down impressions I received and I wrote down things that meant something to me. It was funny--when I've been discussing conferences with my friends or in classes, half the things that people mention I don't remember. But I do remember things that are very specific to me in my life right now.

Back to the scripture I mentioned.  I wrote down during the lecture in my New Testament class that "knowledge unapplied will only serve to condemn you." I know that I have things to do after this conference. Things I need to fix or changes I need to make. I know I received these promptings because there are specific to me in my life at this time. I don't know the outcome, only that they will make me a better person, strengthen my testimony, and prepare me for things to come. I love this gospel. It truly is one of hope and can change the hardest of hearts. With this gospel, it is possible to live in the world but not of the world. By listening to the prophets and apostles, I can be a faithful servant of God.

Rejoice! Be Happy! Love Life!

This post might be a little scattered today because I am extremely scattered. I've got 22 days till the end of this semester and ahhhhh, there's a lot to do.

I've been thinking a lot about life. I mean, I'm a college student, 19 years old, and trying to figure out my life. You can really take anything and apply it to your life and say "well, this gives my life meaning." I think that's what things like books, tv, movies, and music try to do. For instance, the song I'm listening to right now is "Who I am Hates Who I've Been" by Relient K. What is that song saying? Basically that I'm a changed person and I don't want to be like who I've used to be. I love that song.

Anyway, I digress. I think that a major source that people find reason to life is religion. At least, that's me. I find lots of reason to keep going when life gets hard because of my religion. I've been in a New Testament class for the past year, and let me tell you- I have grown to love the New Testament. Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe the Bible to be the word of God, as well as the Book of Mormon. Now that I'm older and perhaps more knowledgable, I really gain a lot out of studying the New Testament.  We're just finished Paul's epistles, with Hebrews and are getting into Peter's.  I have never found so many verses that strengthen me or that I write "to read when going through a hard time." My goal of this post is to share some with you that will strengthen my faithful readers through whatever you're going through--a personal trial, finals, or fear.

Hebrews 10:32 "But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions." -- Wow. There is not one among us who has not had a trial, being something small such as a failed test or something huge and long lasting, like a physical limitation. Each trial affects us in different ways and each are "equal" in pain. But, my brothers and sisters, be illuminated. If you endured it then, you can endure it now! Through what, you may say? Through however you did at the time of the trial! Whether it was simply saying "I can do this" or falling on your knees and pouring your soul out to a God who loves you. Paul goes on to say "cast not away therefore your confidence." Believe! My friends, there is so much we have to rejoice in!  Peace, this will be but a small moment. Keep going, keep believing.

Peter 1:6 "Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations." -- My professor took this verse and commented, "Life is tough--rejoice!" What? I know that when I go through a trial, I hardly rejoice. I normally complain, saying "Ouch this is hard! What did I do to deserve this? God, can you take this away from me?" But do I ever get an answer to that prayer? Hardly! If anything, I receive peace that I can continue this or I am led to a verse like this one. Life is hard. Trust me, I know. But at the same time, trials benefit you. It's SO hard to see that when it's happening to you. But afterwards, it's beautiful to look back and think, wow. I know why that happened. It's so I'm prepared for the future or because of this and that. Life is great.

Peter 4:12-13 "Behold, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers in Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy." Finally, in light of the beautiful Easter Sunday we just had, rely on Christ and His atoning sacrifice. When it seems life gets too hard, remember that there is a God in Heaven who loves you and His Son sacrificed His perfect life so we can return to live with God again. Can you imagine the rejoicing on that great day, when our Heavenly Father welcomes us back into His arms? In that moment, you will have great joy, realizing that you passed, with the help of Christ.


I pray that when trials fall upon us, especially those college students who are beyond stressed with papers, group projects and finals, we will turn to the things that keep us going. Whether that is religion, or whatever helps you to keep going, remember to rejoice. Life is good!!

"All my songs shall be Nearer my God to Thee"

My heart is full of joy today. Sundays tend to do that to you, especially as you make time to reflect upon the recent week and to reflect on the things that really matter in life.

It's been an interesting year. I remember last semester, I was thinking "life is hard!" I was struggling with grades, relationships, and my own testimony.  There were days I just didn't feel like smiling and other days where I should have been happy, surrounding by people who love me but I just couldn't bring myself to smile. Then, being with my family over Christmas break, I realized that family is what really matters most. I was happy again...and didn't want to come back up to school where I felt alone and uneasy at being on my own.

Then, my life changed. In the matter of seconds, I had to be strong. I had to put on a smile. I had to look like I was okay. In the hospital and the moments before being admitted to the ER, I was scared. I know I went into shock so I wasn't thinking logically nor being strong. But a trip to the ER can do a lot for you. It was a long one too. I was in the back of that ambulance, tied to the board, for at least 30 minutes, maybe longer. I did a lot of thinking there. I was tired but my mind was awake. A lot of soul searching. Prayers. And in the days to come, I began to believe that this was suppose to happen to me.

I got a blessing that night in the hotel. The few things I do remember I hold onto every day.
1. You will make a full recovery.
2. Your schoolwork will not be affected.
3. Rely on Christ to help you.

That last one got to me. At this point in my life, I had felt alone for too many days and nights. I needed someone by my side and sadly, my friends in this mortal life weren't making the cut. That doesn't mean I didn't open up to everyone who would listen but it just seemed like something was missing. Everyone was sympathetic and I am very grateful for every one out there who listened to me when I was at my worst. But I felt like no one truly understood me. Then one night, I read my patriarchal blessing, where I was reminded that I had a Friend who was waiting for me to talk to Him. I poured out my heart, with every feeling, concern and thought I had been having. And suddenly, a feeling of peace came over me. I felt calm. My Savior had heard my cries and really understood me.

In Ephesians 2:4-7, it reads, "But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us. Even when we were dead hath quickened us together with Christ (by grave ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindess toward us through Christ Jesus"

I testified that I have felt God's kindness through Christ. There have been days where I've felt truly alone but through a quick and simple prayer, someone else has said something to me or been there for me when I need it.  There will be days to come where I will feel alone but I know that Christ is always by my side. I know that trials are for our own good. I know that Christ is my Savior and He died for my sins and felt every pain I have ever felt. I know that through the Atonement, I repent and be forgiven of my sins. I know that while life is challenging, our struggles for our own benefit and we can grow so much more than we thought possible.

Shipwrecked

If you're a regular on my blog or someone who stalks my Facebook or has recently talked to me in the last two months, you know what I've been going through. I'm sure that some of you would assume I'd be done talking about this trial, that I would have shut it out of my mind because of the physical, emotional, and mental scars. But that's not how I heal.

I'm learning something new each day, which is a relief, because I believe that trials are for our benefit. This week especially I've learned and been reassured that God lives, loves me, and looks out for me.

In Acts 27, Paul discourages his friends from leaving on a journey to Rome because he knows a storm is coming. I won't say I felt discouraged to go to Colorado but I think that the whole time I felt uneasy. It's been hard admitting this to myself because I feel like I ignored a prompting, which brings me guilt. I mean, the Thursday we left was the one day that Utah had freezing rain. If we were smart, we would have stayed back. However, I believe God is teaching me. Well, like me, Paul's group didn't listen to Paul and went on with their trip. Shortly after, the storms started and the people feared for their life. Like me, I didn't listen and I ended up fearing. I was fearful that a.) I was permanently injured b.) I was being punished and c.) that my life would be forever changed for the worst. Luckily for the people on the ship, Paul promised that all would be saved...except the ship.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I recently went to the chiropractor and received a 14 page packet full of everything that is wrong with me. I began to fear again as I got to page 12 and kept seeing words like "strain" "sprain" "trauma" and "defect." But as I got to page 14, tears filled my eyes as I read "the patient is expected to make a full recovery eithout long lasting effects."

Applying Paul's story to my life, fear is my ship. My fear will break me, if I let it get the best of me. However, if I trust in God and have faith that I will heal, my fear will become like the ship and will not continue through this trial. When fear is around, God cannot be present. When fear begins to overcome, get on your knees and pray for strength.


As Elder Henry B. Eyring said in the April 2012 General Conference Talk "Mountains to Climb" (I STRONGLY recommend this talk to anyone going through a trial), "I cannot promise an end to your adversity in this life. I cannot assure you that your trials will seem to you to be only for a moment. One of the characteristics of trials in life is that they seem to make clocks slow down and then appear almost to stop. There are reasons for that. Knowing those reasons may not give much comfort, but it can give you a feeling of patience." I testify that this is so true. I'm learning patience everyday. I also know that God has not left my side through this trial.  Just the other day, I was filled with peace as my small pray to be in a good group for a SOC class was answered. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and I know it's true. 

Trial = Test = Experience

It's been exactly 33 days since the car accident. I'm happy to say...that I have improved more than I ever thought possible. What a rough ride...literally. But, seeing as I feel a lot better, it's easier to see what has happened and why it's happen.

At the chiropractor this week, I started physical therapy and today, I had my first "test" on one of the machines. It's this weird weight machine where I push back with my back and neck. It tested my movement at 7 different angles.  On Monday, I'll get to do a test on the other machine that just focuses on my neck. The test was HARD. I was pushing as hard as I could (it doesn't move...) and the PT guy kept yelling at me to push. It hurt like crazy but when I was done, I felt really accomplished. I was told that we'll do the next one on Monday and go over my results. I was sitting there, thinking about it. Thinking about the "test" and this test of a life...I then realized that in New Testament this week, we were talking about tribulation.  My professor Brother Griffin asked the class if anyone was going through a really hard trial. No one answered, except someone said midterms but I was thinking...heck yes I am! He went on to draw this diagram on the board.

I really like that diagram. It just made complete sense to me. I'm being tested during this trial and I have two options.  I can be patient and believing that I will get healed and that will lead me to experience and ultimately hope in Christ. If I decide to be impatient, it will ultimately lead me to fear and despair. I can testify that I know this is true.  The days and especially the nights when I feel alone and impatient to be healed, I fear and think that this will be a trial I'll have for the rest of my life.  However, when I take the time to realize that this is test and I will be healed, I feel so much more positive and ready to take this challenge to the next level.
Even though I wish this test had never happened, I am grateful to be learning so much. I'm learning more about myself than I ever thought possible. I'm learning that Heavenly Father is mindful of me and my trials. I know He answers prayers and I know that He wants what's best for me.

I Stand All Amazed

"I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me. Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me...
Oh it is wonderful that He should care for me enough to die for me. Oh it is wonderful to me."

I am brought to tears when I reflect on these lyrics to my favorite hymn. I am truly humbled today when reflecting on my life and past experiences.

I no longer believe in coincidences. I don't think I ever did but I now believe that there is a purpose in everything that happens to us. Something as simple as a class you find yourself taking or something as huge as a trial you're going through. I never looked at my life as a thing left to chance but I have a strong belief that things happen for a reason.

I stand all amazed at the love I have felt from my earthly family and friends as well as my Heavenly Father. I stand all amazed at the healing power of the Atonement. The power is real and personal to me. Through this past month, I have strengthening my relationship with God and Christ through prayer. I have stood amazed at the overwhelming feelings of love and comfort I have received through the hard days when I feel like giving up or when I feel like no one understands. I stand amazed that I can stand and move about, even though I am still limited in movement. I stand amazed at the modern technology and the doctors I have been led to who will help me return back to full health. I stand amazed at those who have reached out to me, for those who willingly wake up early to get me to appointments or school and those who drop everything to strengthened me up when I am at my weakest.

I stand amazed as I receive promptings to help me through this time. It was not a coincident that the first New Testament class I went to we sang "I Need Thee Every Hour."  I stand amazed that simply flipping through an Ensign magazine can lead me to an article that is exactly what I need to hear.  Similarly, in my New Testament class this past week, we talked about 2nd Corinthians  My professor explained that in Biblical literature, this is referred to as the "greatest exchange epistle," meaning that Christ and God exchange the bad that we have for the good they can give.  The first chapter spoke to me personally.  Verse 4 reads "Who comforteth us in all our ^atribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the ^bcomfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."  This means that God will not take away your problems all at once...but He will bring my comfort.  I stand all amazed at the comfort He brings me.  When I am at my lowest, He brings overwhelming feelings of love and peace if I simply remember that He is there.  In addition, a main reason God does not take away trials is so you can help others.  I can be a tool for God to work through and be there for other people when they have trials.  I stand all amazed at all  those who have been with me through this time in my life. I do not deserve such wonderful friends and family members. I stand amazed that God would trust me enough to be an instrument in His hands. I stand amazed that there is a reason for this trial in my life and that He willingly stands, waiting to help me. 

Most of all, I stand all amazed that Christ willingly have His life for me, a sinner who is overwhelmed with the love that He offers me. I know that I am never alone and that in those dark times Christ is standing at the door ready for us to lean on Him.