At the chiropractor this week, I started physical therapy and today, I had my first "test" on one of the machines. It's this weird weight machine where I push back with my back and neck. It tested my movement at 7 different angles. On Monday, I'll get to do a test on the other machine that just focuses on my neck. The test was HARD. I was pushing as hard as I could (it doesn't move...) and the PT guy kept yelling at me to push. It hurt like crazy but when I was done, I felt really accomplished. I was told that we'll do the next one on Monday and go over my results. I was sitting there, thinking about it. Thinking about the "test" and this test of a life...I then realized that in New Testament this week, we were talking about tribulation. My professor Brother Griffin asked the class if anyone was going through a really hard trial. No one answered, except someone said midterms but I was thinking...heck yes I am! He went on to draw this diagram on the board.
I really like that diagram. It just made complete sense to me. I'm being tested during this trial and I have two options. I can be patient and believing that I will get healed and that will lead me to experience and ultimately hope in Christ. If I decide to be impatient, it will ultimately lead me to fear and despair. I can testify that I know this is true. The days and especially the nights when I feel alone and impatient to be healed, I fear and think that this will be a trial I'll have for the rest of my life. However, when I take the time to realize that this is test and I will be healed, I feel so much more positive and ready to take this challenge to the next level.
Even though I wish this test had never happened, I am grateful to be learning so much. I'm learning more about myself than I ever thought possible. I'm learning that Heavenly Father is mindful of me and my trials. I know He answers prayers and I know that He wants what's best for me.
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