Shipwrecked

If you're a regular on my blog or someone who stalks my Facebook or has recently talked to me in the last two months, you know what I've been going through. I'm sure that some of you would assume I'd be done talking about this trial, that I would have shut it out of my mind because of the physical, emotional, and mental scars. But that's not how I heal.

I'm learning something new each day, which is a relief, because I believe that trials are for our benefit. This week especially I've learned and been reassured that God lives, loves me, and looks out for me.

In Acts 27, Paul discourages his friends from leaving on a journey to Rome because he knows a storm is coming. I won't say I felt discouraged to go to Colorado but I think that the whole time I felt uneasy. It's been hard admitting this to myself because I feel like I ignored a prompting, which brings me guilt. I mean, the Thursday we left was the one day that Utah had freezing rain. If we were smart, we would have stayed back. However, I believe God is teaching me. Well, like me, Paul's group didn't listen to Paul and went on with their trip. Shortly after, the storms started and the people feared for their life. Like me, I didn't listen and I ended up fearing. I was fearful that a.) I was permanently injured b.) I was being punished and c.) that my life would be forever changed for the worst. Luckily for the people on the ship, Paul promised that all would be saved...except the ship.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I recently went to the chiropractor and received a 14 page packet full of everything that is wrong with me. I began to fear again as I got to page 12 and kept seeing words like "strain" "sprain" "trauma" and "defect." But as I got to page 14, tears filled my eyes as I read "the patient is expected to make a full recovery eithout long lasting effects."

Applying Paul's story to my life, fear is my ship. My fear will break me, if I let it get the best of me. However, if I trust in God and have faith that I will heal, my fear will become like the ship and will not continue through this trial. When fear is around, God cannot be present. When fear begins to overcome, get on your knees and pray for strength.


As Elder Henry B. Eyring said in the April 2012 General Conference Talk "Mountains to Climb" (I STRONGLY recommend this talk to anyone going through a trial), "I cannot promise an end to your adversity in this life. I cannot assure you that your trials will seem to you to be only for a moment. One of the characteristics of trials in life is that they seem to make clocks slow down and then appear almost to stop. There are reasons for that. Knowing those reasons may not give much comfort, but it can give you a feeling of patience." I testify that this is so true. I'm learning patience everyday. I also know that God has not left my side through this trial.  Just the other day, I was filled with peace as my small pray to be in a good group for a SOC class was answered. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and I know it's true.