I'm Sore and I know it!

WOW. Just wow. I've worked out every day I've been here except Sunday and Thursday. Not just my normal 3 mile run either. A new Megan has formed who enjoys weight lifting!? WHAT, weight lifting? That weak thing? Oh yeah. Sure, I'm barely lifting much but at the end of the semester, I'm going to be great! I love it. Anyway, a little bit about my day....

I slept in till 10. No class on Friday? Ohhhh I'm going to love this! Cortney came over after work and we messed around for a bit...before he found a nice little spot on our couch and passed out. Whit and I did laundry for the first time....my little jar of quarters is a little lighter :-/ But it's a way nicer facility than the dorms so oh well.

After that, it was about 1...and I decided to make BANANA MUFFINS, my absolute favorite! I think my roommates love me too. They were just a tad bit undercooked so still gooey and chocolatey...ahh. But my muffins took me so long that I had to keep postponing my workout with Swanson. I finally left at 3:15 and headed to the Fieldhouse gym. Swanson and I just did our own thing but Charlotte Reininger happened to be there!!! She ran with me on the elliptical, which made time fly! Then she taught me her weight lifting routine.
Oh.
My.
Heck. (I'm in Mormonville, this phraseology is allowed!)

I am ALREADY sore. It's been about an hour after working out and everything hurts. I did the bench press for the first time (45 lbs- 50 lbs) and a few other things, like squats and some machines were I had no idea what I was doing, except for the fact that it HURT. In a good way though. I love it. I'm obsessed with working out. I've never felt this way before. I've always seeing working out as a burden or something that I wasn't good at. I don't care if I'm not good at it, I just feel SO good!


On a different note, I'm super homesick and "last-year-sick." I don't know. I know as soon as the semester gets going and maybe like once FHE groups are established things will get better. But today, I'm just kinda blah. I'm heading to hang out with my favorite boys from last year soon and that should make things better. But I feel like a stranger in my own apartment. I can't explain it. I'm doing just fine, I'm happy and such but it just seems I do a lot on my own and I find myself feeling lonely sometime. But I know it's a phase that will past and that I've never truly alone, my Heavenly Father is always there for me and looking out for me. It's just a little tough. But I'm hopeful that things will get better. :)

Keep smiling, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile. <3

Pleased As Punch

I looked up the word "content" and found the synonym "pleased as punch." Not sure what it means but decided to use it!

Well, today was a LONG day. It's midnight thirty (Shelby!!!) and I don't have class tomorrow. Heck yes! But yeah, Tuesdays/Thursdays are my long days with 3 long classes but the classes are still super good. I woke up around 10 and went to class at 12.
I. love. my. sociology. class. The current social problems class I'm taking fascinates me.
Now....time to get a little personal....
Last year, I was a declared History major and I still currently am. Halfway through winter system, my history class was driving me crazy and I just wasn't satisfied. I wasn't sure what direction I wanted to go after college with a history degree as I don't want to teach. I was talking with everyone and searching majors when Cortney (bless his heart) mentioned the possibility of sociology. I honestly had no idea what it was but the idea sounded intriguing. One of my favorite things that I did last year was meeting new people. But not just meeting them. I loved learning their back story; what their family is like and where they grew up. It really creates a clearer picture of the person they are today. Also, the parts of history I really like have to do with civil rights movements. So I decided to take a chance and take two sociology classes. All summer, I was really worried that the classes wouldn't work out, I wouldn't like them and would have to return to square one.
Well, after the first two days in these sociology classes, I got overwhelming feelings of peace. Even though the classes are HUGE and I don't know anyone, every time I'm in the classes, I feel at peace and have received answers that this is the major for me. I *hope* I'm right, as everything feels right, and I just love the subject. In my intro class, my professor talked about different programs one could go into with the major and I don't know, everything just feels right!!!

Tonight was the first football game and WE WON! Wooohooooo! It was great to be reunited with old friends and hall-mates (Emily, Ashley, Christina, Serena, and Courtney). Even better that we won. Basically, I feel pleased as punch, whatever that means ;)

Normal Day + Dance Party = Content

"Oh what a night!" (Name that musical??)

Today was good, normal day of class + a workout with Janel and Shelby (ouch my abs). I ran into Victoria on campus today, it was way fun to see her and I realized again that, whoa, I'm a sophomore. Still hasn't sunk in, I think!

My two hour break was Cortney filled haha. We decided to eat lunch in the bottom floor of the Wilk, seeing as there are tables and it's kinda quiet. However, it's right next to the bowling alley so the two hours was also Michael Jackson filled. I'm not sure which one I liked better ;) Just kidding!

Janel and I ventured to the post office after school and were unsuccessful at retrieving her mail. We continued onto Smiths because we ran out of milk...ah, apartment life!

I made myself a Mexican Feast tonight......a burrito with delicious juicy tomatos from Uncle Kevin's garden and the likes. It was delicious.

Yeah, like I said, today was normal. Well, after doing a bunch of reading, our apartment got a TON of energy and decided to blast some music and have a dance partay! Colleen has a strobe light so that was SUPER TRIPPY! Haha, the best part was before our dance party, I was playing Tonight We Are Young on my guitar and when we started screaming it, the guys in the building across from us closed their door......haha. After tiring ourselves out, we all went back to reading and studying...blaaah. I'm trying to read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair....good times.

,Even though it may be 80 degrees in here, I love our apartment. <3

Interesting

SECOND DAY OF CLASSES!!!!!!!!!!

I love Tuesdays. It's official. I don't have class until 12 and it's the best. I woke up at 9 (I finally slept in!) and went straight to the work out room. Bleck. But it was a good workout, full of more weights and some running. After a shower and a quick breakfast, I walked up the huge hill once more to campus where I had my two sociology classes.
For those of you who don't know, I'm planning on changing my major to sociology. History just wasn't working out, I might minor in it but I was super nervous. After a few minutes of class explanation, I got the overwhelming feeling that I was where I need to be. I enjoyed Soc 112-Current Social Problems. I KNOW I'm going to love this class, the teacher is spunky and full of awesome attitude. I really like the things she said we'd hit on (different social, racial, etc. problems) and it was just a fun class.

My second Soc class wasn't all that exciting--we have an older prof who spent her time lecturing and all I could think about was my salad I packed for "lunch" as I was super hungry.

Then I had a *lovely* two hour break where I sat by myself, contemplated life....and read a lovely article for Soc about a girl who went from homeless to Harvard.

Afterwards, I headed to my 5 o'clock class of the day, US History since 1877. I sat next to a girl named Lizzie who is married. Arhhh!!! Weird! But she was really nice. The class was good, we dove right into the material and I think it'll be an okay history class. I hope so, otherwise I'm gonna have to rethink this whole history minor thing.

Tonight was our ward's first social activity...hot dogs and dodgeball. The Elder's Quorum planned it.  Enough said. But it was fun to meet people and get out and socialize.

It's officially over 80 degrees in our apartment. Not only am I slightly annoyed, it's freaking hot in here. Hence....life is preeeettty dang interesting tonight.

Confident

What a great first day of school!!!!!!!!

Honestly! I mean, I don't clearly remember last year's first day of school, but this year's was awesome! After walking up that HUGE hill to campus (bleck), I was huffing and puffing and sweating like crazy. Ew. But I walked to my first class and I was way early. Maybe it's because my first class is at ten, but whatever the reason, I was second in the class. The first thing I noticed is the class is SMALL, like 40 chairs max. The second thing is that I sat in the front, a new tactic I'm trying out this year in order to meet people and get noticed by the teacher. Well, I accomplished both of these goals within my first ten minutes of my class! I met the people around me (most were freshman, one sophomore boy). The class was really nice, it was Student Development- Life Planning and Decision Making. The prof. reminds me of my 7th grade English Teacher Mrs. McCall. I think it'll be a really good class. The class is either freshman or super seniors......it'll be interesting!!

After that, I got a 2 hour break that I spent with Cortney, Lydia, Janel and Whit. It was boring though today, like I had nothing to study. I just ate my peanut butter sandwich and apple (Mom, be proud!).

New Testament was just as awesome. I already really like that professor as well. I have that class with Cortney and Lydia. I think it'll be harder than Book of Mormon though because the chapters are really long and kinda confusing. But I'm excited to learn all about the Savior's life. I think it'll be really good.

My last class of the day, Living Prophets, was super awesome. Probably my second favorite. My teacher is a woman and she is SO SPUNKY. She was such a joker today, I hope she's always like that! In this class, as well, I sat next to a girl who was willing to talk to me and it was really great to make friends like that! Another surprise-- Julie Humphries from my home ward is in my class! Super cool!

I worked out with Whit and Shelby after our classes, go us! It was great. I love weight lifting, it's crazy. I still run (elliptical) but spend my time lifting.

I had tons of time at home, made a good meal, and grated a huge block of cheese. Talk about the college life! I spent my evening getting to know my awesome roommate Colleen. She's legit :)


Basically, my first day of school was great. I remember stepping out of my first class, and looking out to campus and getting chills because I know this is where I'm suppose to be. I'm feeling very confident. :)

At Peace Once Again

Ahhh. I love church. LOVE IT! Even though today was the first day and it was kinda chaotic, I still totally felt the Spirit. For the closing hymn in Sacrament Mtg., we sang "Secret Prayer." I love that hymn! I have a "new found" love for it, I suppose you would say. I really like the lyrics and the words speak true to me. I'm trying to have a better relationship with my Heavenly Father this school year and I just love the harmonies of that hymn.
So church. First Sunday. The "meat market" of Sundays. We have TWO relief society's in our ward. Sooo...double the girls. Could be a drawback but hey, I'm not looking for marriage right now (famous last words, right??). Our ward starts with relief society, goes to Sunday School and ends with Sacrament Mtg. In Sacrament Mtg, we sat by an apartment full of boys, who Shelby invited over for card games and cookies. ^.^ We'll see how that goes! They were really nice and desperately tried to remember all 5 of our names......and sorta succeeded! We'll give them somee slack though, seeing as it's the first week ;)
Our Bishop talked for a good 20 minutes (when we were all tired and hungry, props to him) at the end of Sacrament Mtg. He talked about how we should pretend that we're going to live in this ward for a more long term thinking, rather than two semesters. That way, in our callings/friendships/relationships, we will do our best because, heck, we're living here forever! I really like that way of thinking. I'm going to try really hard to reach out and make new friends. I think last year I came off as really shy the first semester (which...I kinda am...) but by second semester, I was really good friends with everyone I had met. I don't want to be like that this year. I'm finally excited about this coming year. I think it'll be good. I just finally feel at peace :)

Whirlwind of Emotions

Wow, yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions. I finished unpacking, and then cried my way through the rest of the day. I couldn't figure out why I was so emotional but I think it was a few reasons.
1. I'm a girl. Self explanatory? You tell me.
2. I got really close to my family this summer. Like REALLY close. I couldn't stand to see my mom leave. Which is a little strange, like last year I was like bye, leave me, I'm ready to be on my ownnnn! I guess this year I was just a little afraid of being SO on my own, like with the food and the grocery shopping and stuff.
3. I was T-I-R-E-D. Super tired. I don't remember when the last time was I got good sleep where I woke up and felt extremely rested.
So in any case, after lunch and some shopping, I came back with my parents and just cried for awhile. Then Mom started crying so we both had to stop haha. But after Mom helped me with a few more things, I felt a little better. Still, when my family left, I was really close to tears (I think a few spilled out). Luckily, Janel, Katie, and Shelby were heading to the grocery store, so I went with to just get a few things (first trip out on my own, whaddup!?).
Afterwards, I told Janel that we needed to go workout. So we went in Liberty Square's dinky little workout room with 5 ellipticals, 3 treadmils, one bike, and 5 weight machines so I could work out all my emotions. BOY, did it work!!! Janel helped me on weights and abs and I felt SOOOODANGGOOD afterwards!!!!! Like I didn't want to stop but my body wanted a break haha. I made myself a Peanut Butter Power Smoothie for dinner in MY blender :) and it tasted real good. We had our first "apt mtg" to discuss chores and how we will divide up food to share. We got to know Colleen a bit more (our 6th roommate) and she's super sweet with BEAUTIFUL curly hair. *Jealous*...oh wait...I have curly hair too...haha. She fits in well and I can't wait to get to know her better!
During the mtg, I felt really sick and the next thing I knew, I was throwing up in our teenie, tiny bathroom. >.< Shelby took care of me and put me in bed with a cold washcloth and then took Janel to the store to buy me some Sprite. I'm not sick, no worries there, but I figured it was the workout combined with above reason #1. I hate being a girl sometimes haha.
I slept pretty well on our SUPER tall beds (I have a legit two-step step stool) but woke up at 8. REALLY!? Last year, it was a miracle if I was out of BED at 8!? Oh wells. Maybe this is the "new" Megan speaking. The one who loves to work out and eat healthy. Maybe her body is telling her that the early she goes to bed, the better she'll feel the next morning. Maybe these whirlwind of emotions will finally subside once I find MY routine, the one that works for me and keeps me happy and healthy. :)

Relieved

Wow. Move in day was today and within 10 minutes, I was hooked. Two guys walked by, asking if I needed any help (SO SAD, I didn't) and one of them liked my shirt and wanted to jam sometime! ;) Doubt it will happen, but ya know, it could haha. Everything is in my room, my kitchen is stocked and everything is in order. I mean, the night didn't go as well as planned, I mean, there was the normal "drama" that happened. I didn't make the best of choices and already hurt someone's feelings that I still really care about. :/ It's gonna be a lot harder than I thought not hurting that person's feelings. I feel awful...but I apologized and ya know, he's a boy so hopefully, he'll forget about it.

However, for now, everything is in order in my life. After months of anticipation and waiting and worrying, I feel so relieved.

Unsure

Well. I'm here. I'm back in Utah. And I can't tell how I'm feeling. On one hand, man I'm ready to be back on my own. But on the other hand (which that hand is much bigger), I don't want to. I can't figure out why, but I don't want to move on, I don't want to start over, and I don't want to go back to school. I'm so worried for a number of reasons.
1. Change
2. Failure
3. Expectations

Let's review these, shall we?
1. Change. Last year was pretty much perfect. Now that time has gone by, I can look back on my first year at BYU with pleasure. I have (mostly) forgotten about all the fights, the drama, and the crappy times. I mostly remember the fun, the memories, and the friendships. Now, more than half of the people I met my first year are going in different directions, some not even returning to campus at all ( i.e. my missionary friends). Just...everything felt so right and so normally. I "enjoyed" my routine of going to eat in the Cannon, walking to class, able to walk home in between classes, dorm FHE, open door Sunday/Wednesdays, and the fun crazy times during the weekend. I just don't deal well with change. I know I will make new friends, I know we will have the same crazy times, and I know I will get used to cooking my own food. I'm just scared...which leads me to number 2.

2. Failure. I didn't do so well second semester; I went a little carefree...needless to say I never want to feel the way I did last year. Every time I left the testing center, I felt like a complete loser and that I wasn't meant to be in college. I rarely studied or read or even paid attention in class.
Well, times are a-changing. However, I'm worried that all these new "plans" I have to better myself won't work very well--that I'll slip into my old habits and will stay the same. In addition, I really want to lose some weight and be healthier...but it's sooooo easy to just buy some junk food and eat that rather than prepare a healthy meal. Blah. I know that if I keep my mind to my plans, life will work out and I won't be a complete failure but the thought still looms in my mind that I will fail...which leads me to number 3.

3. Expectations. I don't *think* I have too high expectations for myself but what if? What if I can't break the tv watching, tumblr-ing, Facebook-ing habit I've created for myself? What if I fail more tests? What if I never get asked out on a date, never married, never have kids? I mean...that last one will be down the road but it still scares me that I'll fail. I have so many people rooting for me and watching me but I'm scared that I won't be able to compare.

I guess I'm just unsure of how excited I am to be back and get back into the swing of things. Hopefully, things will get a little better after the move-in tomorrow.
Until then...

Uplifted

Church today was just plain perfect. I've been feeling very overwhelmed, stressed and worried about all the changes coming up in my life. However, once I got to church, I felt at peace.
My friend came home from his mission and spoke in church today. He spoke of how he had left a lot of people behind while on his mission and he was coming home forever changed. I got chills while I typed that. What a concept, that our church sends out 19 year old boys who don't know much of anything to preach the true gospel of Jesus Christ. These rascals come back home from their missions older, more mature and with a true knowledge of the Gospel; in a sense, forever changed. His talk gave me such hope that I'll be able to find a young man, who is worthy and has served an honorable mission and will be able to add his own testimony to my own. Following his talk, two young women in my ward sing "Come Thou Fount." After feeling the Spirit from my friend's talk, this musical number made me cry from feeling such peace. It gave me motivation to change my life and make my Savior the focus of my life. "Here's my heart, O take and seal it. Seat it for they courts above." The other thing I took out of church today was in Sunday School. I really like this phrase: "It's better to prepare and prevent than to repair and repent" -John Bytheway. I think that's really true. It's a lot easily to prevent sin than to repent of your wrongdoings. I'm not perfect but I'm going to try harder to be better than just good. I have a new semester coming up at BYU. A time to perfect my study habits, perfect my social skills and perfect my testimony. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying. I'm grateful for the uplifting feelings I received at church today and I'm grateful for my knowledge that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the true church on the earth today.

Turmoil

My stomach is in knots. I just got an email to let me know that my picture perfect apartment in fall will include a 6th roommate. I'm trying to keep an open mind about everything but truth is I'm really worried. Will she fit in with us? Will she be social? Will she have a boyfriend? Sigh!
At the same time, I found out tomorrow will be my last day of work. Aggghhh! I will miss those kids SO MUCH. I hope I can get the same job next year and be with them again. :/ Makes me so sad to think that I won't!
I hate change. I hope things don't change too much. That's my real problem right now. I don't deal well with change.
Luckily, I get to go be social tonight. I'm having a get together at my house. It should be really fun and exactly what I need to get me out of this turmoil.

Overwhelmed.

In the words of Calvin and Hobbes, "the days are just packed." Summer has quickly come to an end and now everything gets crazy. I have to get myself out of this crazy impractical schedule, pack up my life, and move to another state. Talk about STRESSFUL.
Summer was great. Not very relaxing haha, I worked a lot but the few vacations we took were really great. San Diego, "sorta" camping, and Utah were very nice and I spent so much time with my family, it was awesome.
Well, today at church I had an emotional experience that left me pretty overwhelmed.  I was asked to speak in Laurels about "group dating" and experiences I had at BYU with that.  I wrote down some stuff during Sacrament Mtg and after getting into the room, my heart started beating real fast and I just knew-I had to talk about my experiences while dating Kevin. I was nervous and really worried about offending someone but I took a deep breath and...I honestly don't remember what I said. I talked about a few of the group dates I went on at BYU and then I honestly can't remember what I said. I do remember that the girl I've been thinking about looked up and wasn't holding her head in shame. Her mom really wanted me to talk to her. As I look back, I think this is as close as I could get to talking to her.
At the end of the day, the stress burns off. My mind is clear and all I want to do is sleep. However, I know that I have tons to do. Which makes me a little too overwhelmed.