Hello readers. If you’re still with me, I’m impressed,
especially after my rant on the world yesterday (Thanks for so many views, your
comments and support—it’s something I’ve been thinking about for awhile).
Well, interesting enough, my Tuesday/Thursdays are full of
theory and picking apart my brain and those around me. Nevertheless, I’ve been
thinking A LOT about the society structure of the university I find myself and
my blog post on marriage yesterday.
Here are just some of my thoughts.
#1. I probably shouldn’t have been so harsh on the girls my age.
What you
say? Boys out there reading this are probably shaking their heads, saying I was
totally justified in my opinions about the boy-crazy girls I interact with. I’m
not entirely sure I was (yes on the boy craziness, maybe no on the marriage). I
mean, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions and yes, this blog is
mine and I don’t expect you to agree with me 100% of the think. But one of the
things we talk about in my sociology class is the social influence pushing on
individuals within that certain society. If we take the society I find myself in
(a practically white, middle class, LDS university), I suppose I shouldn’t be
so surprised that everyone is marriage obsessed. And if I’m being honest, I’m not even surprised. I knew in coming here that marriage would be in the back of
everyone’s minds. Every boy is told after the mission to go out and find a wife and begin a family.
The social influences pushing on each and every one of us here at BYU is a
mind set of “if I don’t leave this university married, I’m going to end up in
an “older” single’s ward for the rest of my life and probably end up with a
fair few cats.” Yikes, sounds scary right? Dating is a huge part of this
university and you can’t cross campus without running into a more than a handful of couples,
sometimes almost literally. I suppose, being at this university, I’m just
surprised at the boy-craziness environment I find myself in. In high school,
sure, everyone wanted to find a boyfriend and I myself found
myself in a few of those relationships. Girls also find themselves in a
particular frightening situation, as it is “socially unacceptable” for a girl
to ask a boy out on a date, a hand in marriage, etc. I guess after taking a
step back, I now see the social influences behind this crazy marriage, boy
obsessing attitude I find people in.
#2. There is a social
or a personal way of looking at every said problem.
I’ve never
thought about this. Take the economy and the current rate of unemployment. I’ve
been guilty of this but when you think of poverty and the welfare system, most
of the time thoughts go to “Oh that’s their fault, they need to get out and get
a job.” But have you ever consider that maybe the society problems are
influencing them? I didn’t until today.
Now, let me apply this to my current view of this marriage
problem. In terms of this being a personal problem, I’m observing boy craziness with RMs, I’m
seeing the obsession to find a boyfriend, and I’m watching girls rely on boys
for their self worth. I’m watching that the cause and the solution to this
problems lies within each individual girl, that is, it is their choice to be boy crazy and obsessive.
Now, let me apply this as a social problem. Socially
speaking, girls at this university start to feel inferior if they never date,
if they’re not married by the time they leave and heck, even more so if they’ve never been
kissed. From the society of BYU, it does make sense for girls to be boy crazy. The
way this college is set up (FHE groups, wards, home teachers, etc.) it is
nearly impossible not to come in contact with members of the opposite sex and I
think you have to work at it not to become friends with the people you come in
contact with. I mean, even the teachers joke about marriage and assign
certain activities to get us to start dating. Now, I’m not allowing the boy
crazy behavior (I still think it’s completely and utterly obnoxious) but I’m
providing some possible sociologically speaking reasons behind this behavior.
#3. Just because I think the society is dumb doesn’t mean
everyone has to think that way.
The more I sit in sociology classes, the more I begin to
think about society and the problems within. Every time I sit in a class and
a point is made that society influences us to think that way, I shake my head. It never fails. Now, I might not be totally “march to the beat of her own drum” as some, but there are definitely some
things I believe in. Again, you may
judge me and say, “Megan says she does stuff like that but I remember a time
when Megan didn’t act a certain way.” Do you remember the end of my last post?
We’re all HUMAN. There is no possible way for anyone to be perfect. As human beings, we are not perfect nor do we have the ability to be less
judgmental. You can judge me all you want but that won’t make me stop doing
those things I believe in.
In the case of my post yesterday, I believe in friendship,
regardless of how “unpopular” it might be for a sophomore girl to be friends
with boys who haven’t gone on missions yet because of their age. I believe it
is incredibly stupid to be completely boy crazy but I understand that I even
have the tendency to be so because of my environment, those I surround myself
with, and the place I find myself in society. And I believe that when the time
is right, I will find the one for me who probably won’t be a knight in shining
armor, but pretty close to that as humanly possible. ;)
I’m not making amends for my post, because I honestly
believe those things I said. Inside, I’m taking a sociological approach to my marriage obsessed post.
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